More Than A Little Too Excited

It is with trepidation that I make my weekly expedition out into the COVID-crazed world for groceries, which irks because I never used to be timid, I faced the world square-on, usually with interest and enthusiasm. But I have experienced so many odd attacks, literal attacks on my frail old person, and I have seen even worse in videos on the internet, that I am rendered hesitant and fearful.

It is because I too feel roiling inside of me ever since I recovered from my almost lethal bouts of COVID-19 in November/December of 2019, that I have no doubt that unnatural emotional turmoil is what driving the abnormally aggressive behavior of others. In the last year and a half I have seen too many strangers in public become more than a little too excited. For example yesterday at the grocery store, a mother of two seemed to take exception to me, as I sat hunched over in my electric cart trying not to make eye contact with anyone, sitting in the line next to her line at the checkout, in a double-line her and me on those little spots that mark where you are supposed to be during this never-ending pandemic. She twirled around so as to swung at my face with her huge leather purse, or was it a diaper bag? I hollered out, "Hey, watch out, you almost hit me with your bag!" Heads turned but she only giggled. She meant to do it! I motored my electric cart as far away from her as I could get and still be in my line for the grocery checkout. Then the checkout clerk pretended to (!?!) misunderstand everything that I asked of him as he put the six items that I purchased into bags. His face was flushed and his head was down so I asked him what was wrong. He giggled softly and he said that he felt "distracted." I left it at that.

Then when I was driving home a young woman who was driving too fast suddenly tried to change lanes and almost drove into the side of my car. I honked once and she saw me. She sped up and around me, cutting in front of my car with only feet to spare. I slammed on the brakes, honked once again, and she careened on down the road. I and everyone driving near me dropped back to give her plenty of room to go drive crazy somewhere else. My weak heart careened in my chest, my breathing ached, and I was exhausted for the rest of the day. What a way to live, never knowing when strangers will pop off crazy! No wonder I no longer go outside.

More Than A Little Too Excited

by Annmarie Throckmorton 2021

(animated & still frame)